Real Life And Grief-A Tribute To Marianna

Real Life And Grief-A Tribute to Marianna

updated 8-12-24

Marianna

I know you are at peace, and I know that you are loved not just here on earth, but you are now in an eternal love that we can only hope for. We here cannot fathom it yet, we just live to experience it one day. We read about it, we hope for it, we pray for it, but you already have it. One day, we will be in that eternal realm with you.

Our love for you grows stronger, our hearts still beat fast when we think of you and how you lit up the world around you. We haven’t forgotten, and we never will, you are in our memory forever.

On Earth, We Seek To Understand

We seek during the roughest days to find answers for why things happen that seem unfair. There are no sound answers as only God could explain it the right way, and we humans are not omnipotent. Yet we keep seeking to understand. That is our human nature to want to make sense of those things that take our breath away.

I think it may best that only God knows these kinds of things. For us, there is no good answer but we trust Him to make it clear one day when we see you, again- sweet Marianna.

Our hearts break, our minds are not clear, and we cannot laugh as we used to do. We try, we want life to be more normal, but once life is lived, it cannot be undone.

We miss you, we feel your strength in us, and we know you are looking down like an angel of love our sweet Marianna Sherman.

Learning To Live With Grief

A Reaction To Loss and The Love Generated by the Individual Who Has Left Their Footprint on Your Heart

Grief is not something that comes one day and leaves the next. It is not something the hurt spirit of a person can overcome like a burned finger. You cannot run cold water on the heart to lessen the pain as you do the burned finger. The only relief is sleeping soundly in the presence of God who bears our burdens.

Stages of Grief

Some professionals say there are stages of grief, but the stages are performed by those who are grieving differently. Those who contradict Hubler-Ross’s stances on these stages say different individuals may skip, repeat, or leave some of the stages on the table.

Those named stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, we each deal with our grief differently, and in different spaces of time. You mourn, you grieve, you are angry, you are aloof, withdrawn, and isolate yourself from everyone -you may become depressed.

However, these steps are a different format for all.

The Reality Takes Time

You want to touch them again. You remember things that were said, and also those things which were not said. You want to laugh with them again, and you dare not think about reality.

You dare not dwell on the reality as that is the hardest to accept. So, you hide behind the reality and do not think of it. The reality cannot be conceived or understood. The Divine Hand of God only can give more clarity. He only softens the hurt and can turn the sadness to a warm reminder that all things have a time, a place, and one day a clearer understanding.

Time does not cure – time only makes it more bearable with less stress and anxiety. The loss of a child is losing part of your heart, soul, and spirit.

You begin at some point to ask yourself why did I not do this or that. It is because no one dwells on the what-ifs until afterward.  We sometimes take life for granted. While they were close, we could reach out and give a pat, a hug, a wink, a smile, and tell them we love them.

It is only when they are gone, that we truly realize how precious the gift of life is.

The Five Stages of Grief

When A Child Is Born

When a child is born, a mother becomes their lifeline, protector, guide, support system, and defender all in one. Dad is there, he is strong, courageous and teaches that child about what it means to be the protector of the entire family.

“When a child is born, the mother is re-born into a woman that would give her life for her child.”

The Strongness Of a Mother

The mother is similar to what Eleanor Roosevelt states about a woman:

“A woman is life a teabag you will never know how strong she is until you put her in hotwater.”

My version is- “you will never know how strong she is until you mess with her children.”

Additionally, we add:

“You will never know the love, strength, courage, and forgiveness of a mother, until you are a mother, and until you tell her something negative about her child. She will then surprise you with just how little you know.”

More quotes:

“The best way out is always through.” Robert Frost

*meaning that grieving is one small step at a time…

“You can never explain what you do not understand, death is not easily understood when it is you child, or any soul you are connected with, and there is no need to try.”

Swiss-American Psychiatrist said this about grief:

– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ Additional Thoughts- for those of us who are still walking on the road of life…

I’ve told my children that when I die, to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated. For me, death is a graduation.

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.

Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.

The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours.

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.

There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden, or even your bathtub.

I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word and thought throughout our lifetime.

It is difficult to accept death in this society because it is unfamiliar. In spite of the fact that it happens all the time, we never see it.

In Closing