Happiness Cannot Co-Exist With Anger- it will not give you the inner peace you seek…post updated 01-12-23
Happiness- the term happiness is interchangeable with “subjective well-being,” which is typically measured by asking people about how satisfied they feel with their lives (evaluative), how much positive and negative emotion they tend to feel (affective), and their sense of meaning and purpose (eudaimonic)., re: Greater Good Magazine-Berkeley.edu
Anger- is explained as being a basic human emotion just like happiness. Anger gives an individual the fight, flight, or freeze response. re: Psychology Today
If we could smile through all of life, it would help to outweigh the not-so-good things of life. Of course, that is not appropriate behavior for all situations in life. However, it is accurate to believe that if a person can learn to control moments of ‘anger’, then they would experience more happiness.
Anger is an emotion that we all have and it can get us into deep trouble if we allow it. Some say it is healthy at certain times, but it can also lead to other unpleasant situations if it gets out of control. Happiness cannot co-exist with anger all the time to have a prosperous life.
Real Life is Not Always Filled With Happiness –but we can still learn to control the anger
In ‘real life’ we have things happen which make us unhappy with ourselves, and others, and often need to get the anger out. We are human, we are sometimes fragile and filled with remorse. Some things may seem justifiable to us, but how does anger solve, resolve, or cure the wrong we feel?
Quitely we say, it doesn’t. Continued anger will cause more damage than it does good for us, our relationships, and our entire life.
When this happens, it causes life stress, uncontrolled anger can then cause individual undue anxiety and lead to things being out of control, in body, mind, and soul.
From The Word
Even the Bible gives scripture that states;” Be angry and sin not” However, it also states: “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Ephesians 4:26. This is good advice and evidence that at the end of the day, there should be remorse for our moments of anger.
This one verse of scripture pretty much sizes up a good solution to never letting anger control us or our interpersonal relationships. Not all people take it to heart but, neither do all believe in the Scriptures, yet it would take care of many ills in the world.
Anger Does Not Settle Indifferences Or Give Understanding
Many people do not always see they have an anger issue. Anger often stems from the dissatisfaction of self.
This can be seen in children who are angry with someone else, a friend, a teacher, or anyone who might have given corrective criticism. They have not learned to know the difference between productive and unproductive criticism.
They do not know how to accept criticism for the betterment of themselves, and they lash out at home with their family. Of course, this is their safe zone, they feel, so they let it flow. It is never too early to teach children that anger has a correct place and should be expressed with discipline.
Adults Do The Same Things
People get angry when they feel threatened by something they fear or do not understand.
It can be a project gone wrong at work, the entire process was not explained, and the person feels inadequate. Instead of asking for further guidance, they march forward. When it fails, they become angry at the individual who did not give sufficient information.
Anger does little to settle a matter of disruption at home, work, or play. Why do we let it get the best of us? Normally calm conversation with guarded words of explanations will get things back to normal.
When Relationships Are Tested
There is nothing much worse than a spouse who is easily angered, and one who cannot control themselves in public, or at home.
Something catty was said in public, and without a thought, the other fired back at them with a not-so-good remark that left inappropriate embarrassment. Unfortunately, this is when a spouse needs to check their emotions and work on their anger. This is disrespectful and does not set an example for anyone.
We know that some anger is more toxic than other emotions. Anger is ugly, and not only dims our happiness level, but it can also lead to distasteful thinking and actions.
It can bring dissatisfaction, no comfort, or peace. Uncontrolled anger can and will make one’s life miserable and gets worse if not conquered.
When an individual becomes angry at home, it is certainly not an example to the children. In fact, it is hard to teach them something you do not control yourself. It can then flow over to work, and life in general as it sooner or later becomes uncontrollable along with guilt and shame.
The professionals say that anger management processes can usually render healing, and help an individual become aware that their anger will not heal until they know what needs healing.
The American Psychological Association has printed material by psychologist Jerry Deffenbacher, Ph.D., who specializes in anger management, states some individuals are just prone to have more anger.
He stated that one does not always throw fits with an outward burst of anger, but also will withdraw socially, and sulk or even become physically ill.
The article goes on to say that psychologists often call these reactions, low tolerance for frustration.
Meaning, they feel as if they should not have to be subject to the normal chaos of life.
The Most Obvious Anger
An outburst of throwing things, saying negative things, or simple panic, is most obvious. This often indicates there is an issue somewhere within one’s life that is in need of restructuring by that individual to lead to normal reactions.
Anger management is a process to help one figure out what exactly is the cause of their frequent anger outburst and will lead a person to be more socially accepted.
What one should ask themself is; what is the real trigger for my anger outburst?
Some Research Indicates That Excessive Anger Is Genetic With Environmental Influences *National Library of Medicine
Many people have believed that excessive anger is genetic. When children grow up in chaos, loud talking, screaming and throwing slurs, and even physical abuse; it can influence their life.
You watch children, and you can often see that some are more easily angered than others. They are feisty, irritable, want to be first, and always get upset if they do not have their way. They duplicate what they see from other people, and think it is okay.
However, some studied experts indicate that anger is a learned behavior also.
How To See The Need To Change Anger For More Happiness and to Lead a calm life- A Healthy Mind Is a Calm Mind
Once a person sees the need to be more in control, there is room to develop strategies to help a person learn how to control the disruptions, chaos, and normal life things that we all have.
No individual wants the full effect of what excessive anger can cause within their life. When it can make you ill with high blood pressure, and anxiety, and it causes headaches in some people.
Happiness Cannot Co-exist With Anger- bottom line…
Simple Actions To Help You Overcome Too Much Anger
- Stop deluding yourself to think that the anger is always someone else’s fault. However, do not always take the blame for all anger that you encounter. Some things are anger-worthy, judge the situation adequately.
- Learn calmness and you will feel empowered to discuss derogatory issues with caution, in a productive, and positive way.
- Take the time to question all of your own fears and insecurities.
- Think before you leap. Listen before you speak. Listen to what is being said, or done, and make sure you have an understanding of what you heard the other individual say.
- If you cannot help yourself, find someone who can.
If any person lets anger dictate their lifestyle, they are taking advantage of themselves and depleting their own happiness.
Note: We are not suggesting cures or diagnosing, we are simply suggesting self-growth when it has not gone too far to need professional guidance.