How to Influence People and Win Friends

How to Influence People and Win Friends- however, don’t overdo it…

“Standing out from the crowd is part of how to influence people and win friends. Being genuine, sincere, and having conquered the art of listening to others. Knowing yourself, and being conscious of your actions, and mindful of other people is essential.”

Is influencing people an art? We all have influencing power. It may be good or it can be negative. If we are to influence people positively, we must audit our own behavior. Let’s gather some thoughts on how to influence people.

It is common knowledge that everyone has actions and behaviors, which affect other people either positively or negatively. When a person has the ability to empower others, they will become influential.

Here we want to address the effectiveness of positive influences and how we can be successful at influencing other people. To be effective with our actions; we must learn what might be missing or needed within our own character traits or ability to make it happen with success.

Defining Influence:

  1. The capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.
  2.  The action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc. of another or others.
  3.  A person or thing that exerts influence.

Dictionary.com

“When an individual sees that you believe in their abilities, their pursuits, their actions, they will believe in you and yours.”

When seeking to define one’s role as a positive influence, one must obtain certain techniques, skills, or influencing power. There are certain attributes needed to be able to affect the lives of others appropriately. Is there a right or wrong way to influence others, one might ask?

Whether good or bad we must remember that we all influence and are influenced by others. All factors considered, and in every aspect of our life influencing others is a part of life. One might think that no one is watching, but everything we do and how we do it, our actions are important.

When we are working in a public role and making an endeavor to influence people, our verbal and non-verbal actions, opinions, and how we process those to others, are considered.

The Positive Signs Of Being Influential

People are influenced and empowered in a good way when they see someone who can ride the high waves without jumping ship. Someone who manages to implement processes that work for everyone, not just for themselves or a certain group.

When you become this go-to person for conversation, encouragement, advice, and a positive outlook, you are winning in your endeavor to influence people. So, here are more clues for how to influence people and gain friends:

  • People will be more influenced by your behavior when you use their specific names when in conversation.  They feel your attention to them and when you nod to their speaking; this tells them you are really listening.
  • When you are distracted in a conversation with someone, you will hear everybody else in the room and not the person with whom you are speaking.  If you look around the room, you are not listening.  You should respond with, “I see your point, I understand” or something that lends to the conversation, you are hearing what is being said.
  • Influential people do not complain all the time about their life, their work, or personal life things. They have life issues, but they have learned to let the positive shine through the darkness.
  • You have no problem giving praise to other people, in fact, you love to make other people feel good about themselves. You genuinely care about other people.
  • A person who is confident does not try to flaunt their abilities or their successes.
  • Being honest with oneself; to admitting one’s mistakes is an asset attributed to being influential.

Methods To Avoid When Wanting to Increase Your Influence

  • Keeping calm is essential when trying to correct something said or done that is incorrect. It is important not to correct a person vigorously in front of others.  If this occurs often, this will weaken the individual’s ability to exchange their point of view.
  • Facial expressions and tone of voice are important when speaking with a co-worker, customer, or whomever. People can feel annoyed in conversations and they know the difference between dissatisfaction and professionalism.
  • Learning how to stay focused and smile is essential when a co-worker, team member, or boss asks the same questions over and over.
  • In management, there is a lot of responsibility, and performance in managing tasks is noticed by everyone watching. Calmness and positive multitasking are necessary.

“Pull the string, and it will follow whereever you wish, push it, and it will go nowhere at all.”  Dwight D. Eisenhower

Effective and Positive Influence Behaviors

The people who are an effective and positive influence on others deal with the above-mentioned tasks with:

  • Self-Awareness
  • Positive attitude
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Creativeness
  • Projects are planned well and they are confident
  • Love what they do
  • Feel and love the challenge, and have the know-how to get a job done functionally and effectively without showing their insecurities (even if they feel overwhelmed).

Their influence on others is that of attacking what has to be done, one step at a time, and knowing there may be an option of extending the schedule to the next day. Sometimes not, but working hard themselves influences those who work for them to work in the same manner.

With that said, influencing people positively means that a person has excellent communication skills. Their presentation and aggressive skills are a healthy combination that involves working well within personal and professional relationships.

In Summary…

It is important to first understand yourself (self-awareness) and how your behavior affects others. If it isn’t in a positive format, then someone has to change, and that change will most likely be you.

It doesn’t mean that one must change to always go with other people’s opinions, skills, or focus.  It simply means working with what is most effective to get the required results.

Some people do not care how they influence others or even what they do. They just expect others to do as they say, and according to their terms. The people taking the orders may do as the instructor has said, but they will not do it willingly with respect, nor volunteer to help again. Their opinion of the instructor is not positive, nor will it lead to successful relationships, and will more than likely rub off on the entire group.

The art of influencing people comes by knowing the importance of people skills. Having a desire to stand out as someone who recognizes and promotes others and not just themself.

When a person can give other people a desire to succeed, influence others, and grow, they, therefore, stand out as a person who is influential.

Post updated 5-20-22

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