Mending Relationships-God’s Way

ByLinda Todd
Mending Relationships - God's Way

Mending Relationships-God’s Way updated 01-02-24

Most Christians have at some point in life had to step back and look at their relationship with God, as well as with another human. It could be that while trying to mend a relationship with someone else, we failed to seek God’s guidance. At some point, we see we are doing something just not right and begin our journey to start mending relationships – God’s way.

If we have encountered a broken“fence” in our relationship with God, friendship, or kinship, it can deter a smooth walk with the Lord. In these times, when trying to start mending relationships – God’s way, we must talk slowly, think before we speak, pray, and seek a divine method. 

Mending Our Relationship With Jesus

We know that in our relationship with Jesus Christ, he will never walk away, it is our failure that separates us from him.  He is merciful, and he gives us some rope, so to speak. The Word commands us to be like him which is forgiving.

However, He also expects us to mend our relationship with Him, and ask forgiveness when we need to if we claim to be a Christian. He needs us to be fully dedicated to doing His will and following His commandments.

 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1John 1:9 (KJV)

How Should We Respond To Other Humans…

Some individuals are slow to speak, some speak without thinking it through, and some just turn the other way and walk off. The latter is the best policy if one cannot control their responses, but so many people lack the ability. When words are said and deeds are done, they cannot be reversed. This is why God urges us to:

“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (KJV)

If we are professing to live for Christ, it should be easy not to offend in our actions. However, human nature is often weak. If you believe in God, you must believe that there is a Satan who wants to tamper with our salvation. He wants us to fail, and be lacking in Christ. These things ought not to be, but often are.

Earthly Relationships Are Often Difficult…Are Your Emotions Controlling You Negatively

Often, when dealing with earthly relationships, the incident that caused the need for mending, was more acute when it happened, than it is in the present.

As we think about it and want to make things right, there may not be the opportunity or we may not think it will help. Hurts of the heart are something that heals with time, often it takes a lot of time. However. is it never okay to just walk away without an explanation? Especially, if you are a person with the right character and desire to serve God.

Infidelity Within a Marriage…

Even when it is infidelity within a marriage, where there are children, forgiveness and explanations are necessary. Betrayal is hard, it is devastating, but to move on, one must reach out to God for help in getting their life back in order.
Many times in infidelity, one party or the other wants to blame someone, so they blame the person with whom the infidelity occurred or the other person in the marriage. That is not productive either, simply because it was two people involved and neither said no, and making excuses doesn’t help. Confession and being sorry for the actions are mandatory.
However hurtful, we are told to forgive and it is never okay to hoard resentment, a grudge. When we carry unforgiveness, resentment, or hurt for a long time, it only hurts us. When we forgive, the burden lifts, and we become free.
We must also be careful in judgment as we have all been sinners at some point.

Here is What the Bible States:

“Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him along: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” Matthew 18:15 (KJV)

There Is a Time To Be Quiet

There is a time when it is better to keep quiet, pray, and ask God for guidance. The more words that are said, may cause more sorrow and frustration in the situation in many instances.
Very often wounds need to heal. If one acts too soon, it could prolong the recuperation from what has happened. You see if both parties do not have the desire to mend the fence, it cannot be mended. Neither you nor I have the ability to do it by ourselves, it has to be a threesome. Meaning if God is the head of our mending, it will benefit us more.
It must be you, the other person, and Jesus, as he is the only one with true knowledge of how to make things equally right. If you depend upon Jesus, your motive will be right, your attitude will be right, and he can help the other individual to see the sincere effort.
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)
This scripture tells us that we should pray for ourselves, to make sure we are where God will answer our prayers.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalms 51:10 (KJV)

Mending Relationships Takes Courage

We must realize that we cannot control another individual’s response to us, it can become necessary that we do one of two things, we continue in misery or we let it go, keep praying, and move forward.
We really have no other choice but before we let go…move on…we should step back from the fence. Accept responsibility if we are in some way responsible for the broken fence. If we are, then we should find the courage to say, I am wrong, I made a mistake, I have fumbled the ball and I am sorry.
 “I’m sorry,” is hard for some people, but there is no justification for not admitting you have errored. Why, because we all make mistakes, we are always in the “right,” never! If we were to know this person, we would have died and gone to heaven, right?

Forgiveness, Self-Control, and Respect

“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;” Matthew 5: 23.24 (KJV)
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: ”Matthew 6:14 (KJV)
Forgiveness is a part of mending fences for sure and moving on with the clarity of what we need to remember for the future. Never repeating the same mistakes.
Learning from our mistakes and making sure we polish the fence now and then with good things to make our relationships better. I think it is kind of like listening before we jump to conclusions and not acting out of desperation or frustration. It is something called “self-control” and respect. 
This says it all
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
— Thomas Stephen Szasz
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
— Mahatma Gandhi
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
— Maya Angelou
Finally…
Mending relationships is a part of the good life, not any of us need to or want to lose someone important to us, ESPECIALLY NOT OUR LORD.
We certainly, do not want to walk away from God and His love, as we would be without hope.
Sometimes things happen for a reason, but the reason is not always clear. God tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who despitefully use us…

“But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.” Luke 6:35 (KJV)

I hope this is a blessing and encouragement to all who read. 

God Will Not Leave You or Forsake You

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