We All Know That Giving Advice Is Easy-Difficult To Accept- that is if we are truthful… post update 3-10-23
I tell myself that I love motivating other people — and I do. Not because I think, I am more intelligent or educated — I am not. However, I keep learning something important and trying to gain more wisdom myself. So…I decided to explain why giving advice is easy-difficult to accept.
Is there a certain method for trying to encourage and help other people avoid certain mistakes in their life? Are there certain people who are more qualified to give another human some advice about life lessons?
There are professionals who have degrees, however, many people will not make an effort to see a professional. If they pay attention, they can learn through personal growth or development, without paying much or anything for it.
Many people do not enjoy reading how-to articles about making your life better. They say — “don’t tell us how to live my life, tell us how you have lived yours.” Many times these are the people who do not want to look within and see what they might need to make their life better.
I get that, however, the experience a person has gained is most often from their mistakes and life lessons, and something they cannot change. When many people are offering advice, they are not trying to tell a person how to live their life. They are simply saying; be careful and think about all of your options. Think about your attitude, your mannerisms, your anger, your family, your career, etc…
“If we ever get to a place where we cannot accept good ideas, assistance, or knowledge, we have died.”
I Refuse to Tell My Whole Life Experiences
Everything in my life, I refuse to tell the whole world. Some of it, I am really embarrassed about and would not dare voice it as I feel I have forgiven my younger self, and I know God has. I do not want to bring back the memories that were so foolish, and lacking in knowledge or wisdom.
“Wisdom is not innate; it is gained by experiences and learning from those experiences.”
Listening to other people gives guidance is having the intelligence that you learn more by receiving as well as giving advice. Those who give effective advice are helping others to succeed by taking action when they might be stuck.
Per Harvard Business Review-
Receiving guidance is often seen as the passive consumption of wisdom. If you want more wisdom, keep your eyes and ears open to what is around you. Let people’s comments, actions, and advice sink in. No one knows everything. We live and we learn. It is important regardless of what our experiences are-someone has another experience you may have missed.
Here are some tips on Advising Wisely– How to Give Advice That Actually Helps
Personal Growth Is Not Always Something People Want to Hear
As some people age, they are more reluctant to accept advice simply because they do not see their own needs, or their need to change something. It doesn’t mean a person is bad, mentally ill, or without restraint where needed.
Advice or personal growth is actually something that all individuals need until the day they stop breathing. Why? Because life is ever-evolving, experiences change with each individual, and personal growth is how we stay afloat in this life game.
“Every moment of one’s existence one is growing into more or retreating into less. One is always living a little more, or dying a little bit.” Norman Mailer
We live and we learn, and if we know something ahead of time, we can change our course of action.
When I Was Growing up There Was Not a Lot of Personal Growth
In my childhood, and even young adult I was taught mostly about being a good person. We went to church every time the doors were open and my parents made sure that I lived like “they” thought I should.
When I became an adult — I was lacking in what life was really like outside of my family and church. I was immature, and void of real-world experiences.
Advice Is Harder to Accept Than to Give
After years of making some mistakes in my life, I could write a book with the title, “Advice For A Good Life — Never Mind That I Did Not Follow This”
Most humans do not mind someone giving them a piece of knowledge, but it usually depends upon how it is given. No one likes to be condemned, talked down to, or made to feel inadequate. However, it is easier for most people to give advice than to receive it.
Why? It is not that we think we are perfect, it is because we cannot see ourselves from the lens of another person, so we think that we do not need it.
We look at ourselves through rose-colored glasses.
Though this is not all bad, we get defensive and use our defense mechanisms. Making excuses or blaming someone else for what we may be missing in our life. Human nature says we need to feel good about ourselves if we are to succeed.
That is true, however, if we think we have no room for improvement, we will become motionless.
What I Tell My Younger Self…
- Slow down, live each moment, and think with a plan.
- Plan with a roadmap that is doable.
- Always think before you speak, or answer a question.
- Be confident, yet not arrogant.
- Have empathy, be courteous, be kind, and be happy for the little moments within your life, and
- Always be authentic.
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” Ernest Hemingway
Summary For Giving Advice is Easy-Difficult To Accept
“Work hard. Do your best, Keep your word. Never get too big for your britches. Trust in God, have no fear, and never forget a friend.” Harry S. Truman